"Fire-Starting Pop Tarts" by Alexander The Poet
based on a true incident

Who would ever believe,
That pop tarts could cause a fire
It's so hard to conceive,
But it's true, I'm no liar

Instead of 3 seconds,
Put them in for 3 minutes,
And you know what happens?,
A fire happens, you putz!

Building evacuates,
If only they just knew why
For fire truck, each one waits
If they knew the cause, they'd cry

The next time you're hungry,
And get the urge for pop tarts,
Read the label dummy,
So that no damn fire starts!

THE END