"Girl, You Make Me Feel Straight" By Alexander The Poet 02.12.08

Girl, when I first laid my eyes on you,
 I felt the need, to masturbate
And, with that, I knew one thing was true,
 That girl, you make me feel straight!

For you possess beauty that is pure,
 And boobies, that are simply great
It's those qualities that make me sure,
 That make me sure, that I am straight!

When I stare at your ample cleavage,
 There's no way I could think of dick
In gay sex I don't want to engage,
 I just want sex with a chick!

Girl, every time, I see your lips pout,
 It puts me in an aroused state
And my boner tells me with no doubt,
 That girl, you make me feel straight!

THE END

ALT-ENDING
But girl, if you involve a strap on,
 And my small penis, you berate
Well then some line will have to be drawn,
 Fuck it, you're female, I'll feel straight!

THE END