"Masturbation 101" by Alexander The Poet 

When a man becomes horny,
And finds himself without a date
He can do one thing only,
What he can do, is masturbate!

Usually he takes one hand,
And he begins to rub his crotch
Nice and slow you understand,
Rubbing it fast would hurt too much!

He strokes and strokes his hard dick,
Because it feels so fucking good
He's thinking of some hot chick,
Unless he's gay, then it's some dude

One thing I do know for sure
Masturbation does relieve stress
And jerking off is the cure,
For a man, that remains, sex-less!

THE END