"Dear Celebrity" By Alexander The Poet 01.26.08

Dear celebrity, I have something to say,
 And that is, I am going to save and print out your pic
And I plan to jerk off to it every day,
 No matter how much pain and trauma, it causes my dick!

I know, you probably don't want to hear it,
 And you think, I'm being all nasty, perverted and rude
But to pretend, you have morals is bullshit,
 When I see pics of you on myspace drunk, wasted, and nude!

It is something that you'll just have to deal with,
 Because that's the price you pay, for being so fucking hot
And when you say, you can't get dates, that's a myth,
 You're just too damn picky and don't give ugly folks a shot!

Guess what, I'm stroking my cock to you right now,
 And believe me, that's definitely what you want to hear
Because if to you, my dick, I would not plow...
 Then in Hollywood, you wouldn't have much of a career!

THE END