Ok, this poem works best when it is performed live.
One night I went to a bar that was mostly filled with dykes, and I 
read this poem while wearing a strap on dildo.
Needless to say, the dykes weren't pleased...

"Ladies, Let Me Be, Your Dildo" By Alexander The Poet

Ladies, let me be your dildo,
I promise not to hurt
I promise to go very slow,
And be sharp, and alert!

My dildo is quite very long,
I am jealous of it
But forgive me if I am wrong,
My dildo is the shit!

My dildo has girth and has mass,
And it gets the job done
So let me stick it up your ass,
And let us have some fun!

Ladies, my dildo is for you,
And I want you to know
When you are feeling sad and blue,
Let me be, your dildo!

THE END