Testimonials

On this page, I will place VERY great things said about this site and what I do by media outlets.

 

"X Rated Shakespeare" - FHM Magazine, August 2003

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"VERY funny...and disturbing" - Tri City News, Asbury Park, NJ

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"Thanks so much for coming down and performing at my wedding. I always love hearing you read. And I love the ceremony involving your cock as well."
- David Nacin

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"Alexander, Again, DEAD ON! Thanks so much for making last night a success. It seems the best shows we do are always the ones you're a part of."
-Patrick Cashin, comedy booker

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"It's amazing to see how in less than 5 minutes, you are able to totally change the mood in a room."
- Christine Goodman, founder of Art House Productions

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"I've refrained from posting a link to this website for awhile, because to be rather honest, I still haven't stopped laughing about it, and it's been about a month. One piece of advice: LOOK THROUGH THE ENTIRE SITE. Just when you think you've found the pot of gold, you'll see there's plenty more where that came from." -LT, IsNotChicago

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Alexander the Poet's hot and unique act turns the sexually absurd into an art form.  If you're into freaky fetishes, bondage, or are looking to vent sexual frustration, then this is THEE one poet you should be aware of!  This porno poet's collection ranges from tongue-in-cheek haiku and limericks to the erotic and hardcore.  A must see for those who possess a dark sense of humor or dwell on the heavier side of sexuality.
  -Ancilla Lunae, unscene-tv.com , 09/04

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"Well, I'm speechless. If you go to Alexander's humorous site, you will be greeted with strange sounds. Maybe it is whales having sex, and maybe it isn't. If you fearlessly push forward you will uncover poems with titles like "I Wish My Cock Was Big" and "Pissing In The Ass". There are galleries of Alexander posing in various ways, some of which highlight his chest hair (which is shaved into the shape of a heart). You'll find MP3's of his work, dirty limericks, and many other rare...gems...here. Offbeat, funny, and infinitely curious. I'm not sure that anything else has ever deserved the "Original" rating quite as much. I don't know folks, I have to love the guy for doing his own thing and making people laugh". - Vamp, JanesGuide 10/12/04

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This man shaves his chest hair into a heart! If you want to visit a unique site... shall I say it again? THIS MAN shaves his chest hair INTO a HEART! You'll be greeted by a photo of said chest hair on the main page, accompanied by the audio of what sounds like some very soulful lonely whales... and according to Alexander, they're humping. I don't know whether to laugh, or run.

So who the fuck is Alexander the Poet? Well I'm eyeballing a photo of the man right now... and I'm still not sure. According to his bio, he's just a dude named Alexander that has always had a knack for writing poetry. With encouragement from a coworker/friend, and probably due to incredible boredom, Alexander began to write poetry about his sexual frustration and wanting to get laid, which he read at an open mic session at Rutgers University. Hence the birth of Alexander the Poet. In his own words "I read romantic poetry...while wearing tight black leather pants... while exposing some very good ole' moderate chesthair...in the shape...of a heart!"

From his photo, I would have judged the man to be a long-hair banger of the weird goth/vampire/d&d persuasion that you find lurking in the butt lounges of highschools across North America... but looking at the list of music that he claims to enjoy.... *shudder*... I find I am wrong: Jennifer Lopez, Christina Aguilera, and Avil Lavigne!!!! I can only hope this is part of his sense of humor...

On with the poetry! If you scroll down on the main page, you'll find all the recently added poetry. At the top right of the page, there are links to haikus, poems, limericks, and short stories. I'm a weird kind of gal, in that I love haikus... and the one titled "Aria" is pure gold... made me snort out loud actually.

There are poems about pornstars, singers, phone sex companies, sex toys, lesbians... and god only knows what in poems such as "Constipation" and "My Mom She Uses Coupons". I laughed out loud when I read "I Wanna Tap Jenna Bush's Ass" and snickered maniacally when I peeked at "Jizz in a Girl's Hair".

GUESS WHAT! I just realized you can listen to MP3s of Alexander the Poet reading out his poetry!!! Hilarious!

And after you read (and listen) to all the crazy poetry, you can soak up your fill of the heart-shaped chest hair in ATP's photo gallery! You can look at him dressed as a pirate, a musketeer, in bondage get up, as a cowboy, with pornstars, and more!

I'm still not sure quite what I think of Alexander the Poet... whether I'm stunned by his mad poetry skillz or the mesmerizing mirage of his heart shaped chest hair... I don't know. Maybe you'd better stumble over there yourselves and find out!" -Monica, Monica's Reviews  10/27/04

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"Your site rocks! Right on, baby!" -Booble.Com, the adult search engine ; 10/28/04

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"Alexander The Poet: A True Romantic With A Gift Of (Per) Verse" -RadioSlak; 04.30.05

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"Alexander the (Great) Poet
AlexanderThePoet.com showcases the loopy lyricism of a rhyming romantic like none we’ve ever come across. His verses cover tasty topics such as teen models, Viagra, anal intercourse, porn stars, piss, beastiality, and sumptuous celebrities. In this last instance, just sup up a sampling of Alexander waxing way-poetic over Angelina Jolie:

To say Angelina Jolie looks hot,
Would have to be, an understatement
Over her, so much cum my dick has shot,
She should take that, as a compliment "
-SexWrecks ; 05.11.05

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"We don’t know why Alexander the Poet made us think of that line from the Nails song “88 Lines About 44 Women.” He does readings of his “romantic poetry”—poems with titles like “Tits Are My Weakness”, “Anal Warts”, and “If I Fuck You in the Ass, You Will Not Feel a Thing” set to the music of whales humping. Did we mention he also has poems about Weird Al Yankovic and Kendra Jade? Or that he’s shaved his chest hair into the shape of a heart? Or that he wears really tight leather pants? If that ain’t art, we don’t know what is."
-WCTimes, the voice of Chicago’s Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Trans Community since 1985 ; 07.07.05

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"My favorite poet" - Monique Parent ; 08.23.07